The simple things in Germany....

Sometimes it's just the simple things that give me the most anxiety here in Germany.  I mean, I can do what I consider the “hard” parts of daily living here... like speak German the majority of the day, or park my car in a spot meant for a flea.  BUT, it seems the tasks that are supposed to be simple, can send me into a cold sweat.  For example, a few weeks back, my car was in desperate need of a wash.  I was aware of the “Car Wash” rules here in Germany basically stating,” you are only allowed to wash your car in a designated place and such places must have the facility to remove oil and detergents from the water and also to recycle water” which translates to you better not even try to sneak washing in your driveway.  So, I headed off to the local car wash.  What I thought would be a breeze, turned into more like a hurricane....and I SWORE I would never do THAT again….

It went like this….

I pull up to the car wash doors, put the car in park, step out to go pay but am stopped as a man begins walking briskly towards me and speaking German just as briskly.

 (My conversation with me)

Oh-NO!....he is speaking too fast and I have no idea what he is saying.  Just smile, be strong and speak in German “Hi, I am just getting my car washed and not getting gas."  Whew-I did it without stumbling on a single word….wait, he is looking me like I’m crazy and speaking even faster to me in German.  Smile bigger this time and say you don’t understand.  Wait, I think he just said he couldn’t get his car out….OH RIIIIGHT-I understand now… he wants me to move my car so he can get his out of the car wash.  Just tell him sorry and move you car quickly.  Why are all of the other patrons looking at me while they pump gas?  Don’t worry people…I can’t speak good German but I can drive a car.  Well maybe, where am I supposed to put my car in this 2x4 gas station while I go pay?  UGH! Ok people-please stop looking at me-yes I just left my car sitting in the middle here..

Next, I went inside to pay and ask what the “code” is for the wash. 

(My conversation with me)

Oh Brother, what did the cashier just say to me.  You can do it…don’t be nervous just because a large line is forming behind you….1,2,3-in German tell him that you don’t understand what he just said…quit being scared, TALK.  Why is he handing me a plastic card?  what did he just tell me to do with this card?  I think I just heard the man behind me sigh deeply…look and see if it was him....wow! the line behind me is really long now…just grab the card and walk back to the wash.  Whew…I’m glad to be out of there, now what. 

must be good..has my maiden name. 

Instruction

I head back and try to decode the big sign giving me all the instructions-in German.  I’m pretty sure I understand good enough to make it all happen and drive into the garage, all while reading the bright red German words that are flashing at me.  I close my car door, walk out of the garage, and slip my card into the machine to start this process. 

(My conversation with me)

The sun feels really nice.. this isn’t bad standing here waiting for my car.  I am really proud that I survived all that bad communication.  Oh shoot, the garage doors aren’t closing….WAS I supposed to close them myself…please just close..please, please, please.  They aren’t moving and here comes the attendant running towards me….um, not sure what he just said so very quickly.  Ok, so he thinks if he talks louder, I will understand.  Man, stop talking so loud, everyone is looking at us now.  Ok, I am never showing my face here again-who needs a clean car. Good-he gave up on me.  wait, why is he walking into the car wash with it running towards my car.  Ugh... he is handing me my car antenna he just unscrewed.  I guess that is in the list of instructions since he just pointed to the sign.  Oops. 

Danke is all I can muster up and as I look up with embarrassment, I notice the garage doors are finally closing…how did that happen?  Yep, sometimes it is the “simple” things here in Germany that can cause me the most anxiety-but I will survive.  And, even though I swore to Jason, “I WILL NEVER WASH A CAR AGAIN HERE IN GERMANY!!!”… I did just that yesterday!