Independence

When I was growing up, my father would often tell me, “It is important to learn how to be independent in life and not ride through life on someone else’s coat tails.”  I take pride in my self-sufficiency, now that I am an adult (or at least had my 21^st birthday for an additional 20 some years).  If you are the type of person who does not like having to depend on others, then be warned right this very minute, you are in for trouble if you move abroad.  Both your ego and frustration level will be tested at the highest level.

I didn’t understand-WASN’T THIS ALL SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING EASIER???  I had to refer back to my “Expatriate life and adjustments” book to make sure all of my ‘set backs’ these last two days were “normal.  Boy was I relieved to read that the third month on an international move, can be the hardest as you start to settle into your routine.  I had to laugh when I continued reading the next line, “Moving to a foreign country can be one of the most exciting times of your life, but it isn’t without its stresses and headaches.”  Good thing I brought along all those little Alieve we had in our U.S. medicine cabinet!

Gemüsetasche

As you know, most days, I find these challenges part of the fun of living in a new country.  The last two days, well let’s just say, it was like having “fun” on the Pirate ship at Six Flags, or riding a Roller coaster that continuously makes a 90 degree drop.  I can give ONE example with a little clarity.  I was trying to cook dinner Tuesday, after a VERY long day of “living with my German brain”.  Earlier that day, I had purchased a “Gemüsetasche” from the Metzgerei (butcher).  It looked so pretty propped up along side the meats.  “Ok”, I told myself, “it is time to try something new for dinner”.  However, when I asked how to prepare this visibly mouth watering dish, I understood about nothing of what I was being told. (Despite the continued hand motions)  I smiled back and nodded while I thought "I am losing this game of Charades)  I paid my bill knowing I would search the internet for cooking instructions.  Little did I know it would translate to “vegetable purse”.  I painstakingly typed in every word of the cooking directions I had in German, hoping the “Google translator” would be kind and help a girl out.  Google is tired of me and I didn’t even understand the first line of the English translations….“Put the Fat in the Planner”. O.K., I am willing to try anything at least once.  Off I went to cook some bacon fat and do my best to find a Planner.  Let’s just say Jason walked into the door after a very long day of work, an odd smell hitting him smack in the face in addition to seeing tears streaming down his wife’s face.  I can 'Guar-an-tee' better than Emeril, that he wished he had never uttered those three precious words “WHAT IS WRONG?.  I couldn’t seem to control the blubbering while I repeatedly said, “EVERYTHING IS SO HARD HERE..... IT TOOK ME AN HOUR TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAIL A BIRTHDAY CARD TO THE STATES..... I COULDN’T CALL THE VET BECAUSE IT KEPT GIVING ME A MESSAGE IN GERMAN I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND..... STUTTGART MAGAZINE I ORDERED CAME …BUT IT IS IN FACT FOR BERLIN .....AND I CAN’T COOK DINNER”  WAAAAH…WAAAH…WAAAAH. (That is the sound of me being a big ole baby)

I think KNOW this cultural adjustment must be easier for kids because I watched Cooper playing outside yesterday with a little girl that spoke only French and German.  She was having a very long and animated conversation with Cooper in French. After about five minutes,  he finally looked up at her and casually mentioned, “I don’t speak French”.  However, he didn’t seem to have the same level of frustration as I feel when trying to communicate.  He even figured out how to flirt with her and make her giggle non-stop without mastering either of the languages being spoken.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking for the butcher to make me giggle, but I sure would like to know what this “planner” I am supposed to cook with is exactly.

Another phrase I heard quit often from my Grandparents growing up “Nothing good in life comes without hard work” (I doubt they ever heard of such a thing as “Paris Hilton" back then who was in Stuttgart last week).  I am thankful to have had the “upbringing” I did, because THIS is what gives me the strength (MOST DAYS) to conquer this new challenge with a positive attitude.  In terms of my riding on “other people’s coat tails”, I doubt my father ever dreamed I would be living in another country, trying to find my Independence.  But I just know it is hiding around the corner somewhere